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Dear Crazy Hosting…

I just sent this email to my old host, Crazyhosting.net. I feel it really says everything that needs to be said about their service.

To whom it more than likely will not concern in the slightest,

This is the second email that I have sent the staff of Crazy Hosting this week in order to find some tiny bit of information about how to release myself from the bondage that is your service.

I have come to realize during the few months that I’ve been under the yoke of Crazy Hosting, that it is apparently company policy to give as little information to and to have as little contact with the customers as possible.

I have sent several emails to Crazy Hosting and tried to contact you via the instant messenger services your site swears you’re always on to no avail. I am almost ready to contact you via the long distance telephone number you have listed on the site, along with the demand that I not abuse it. I’m choosing to wait on this option as I’m afraid you answer your phone the same way you answer your email, and I only get 60 hours of long distance a month.

Have you attempted to contact me? Should I be waiting by my mailbox for a ransom note made up of words and letters cut from the pages of the Highlights magazines I’m sure litter your office? Should I bid on the Little Orphan Annie decoder ring I saw on Ebay so that I may decipher any contact you do make with me, just in case it’s in whatever code the last email was in? Should I stand outside and watch for smoke signals? I sure hope not, it’s kind of smoggy around here.

Since I started the ill fated journey that has been my association with Crazy Hosting, I have come to realize several things. I have come to realize that I may enjoy sending emails into what very well may be a bottomless pit. I have come to realize that Crazy Hosting doesn’t really seem to think it’s important to view websites on their servers between the hours of 6 pm and 1 am eastern time. I have come to realize that dealing with any company that questions their mental stability in their name is a very risk proposition.

Just for the record, I emailed you on the 27th of January in order to find out why my site had been up and down more than Anna Nicole on a rollercoaster. My site would be down, or restored from a several week old backup, or it’d be back up as normal and then disappear a few hours later.

In short, I’d like you to know that your service is, while almost nonexistent, horrendous. You seem to have misspelled “downtime” on your site as “uptime”. Your service and support have made me wish for the days when churning butter was a valid form of entertainment. How do you feel that you’ve made me want to become Amish?

Recently I found a new company to host with. Their prices are only slightly higher, but I’m recieving twice the space; four times the monthly transfer; and not only do they answer their emails, they answer them during the same phase of the moon, something your company seems to have to wait to change. Their site is beautiful and includes lots of information.

The interesting thing is that my new host appears to be run by a gang of high school girls.

Sure I have to wait for them to get out of school or finish their algebra homwork, but I will get help, and get help that day. There’s no praying for the apparently required Papal intervention to get some help for my site.

How’s it feel to be showed up by Teenage Girls?

Checking my calendar, I note that the next Full Moon is the 18th of this month. Therefore I expect some sort of communication with your company by then. You can email me at ramungo@carolina.rr.com or contact me by phone. These are the best ways of reaching me. Your current method of ESP is just not cutting it.

Yours,

Robert A. Mungo
Malbela.com